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[ What a twist between comforted that he's sought after for help, remembered even, and the pain of seeing his patient in such dire need of help. ]
I am open between ### and ###. You may enter at those hours and we can start with what ever you're comfortable with.
I am open between ### and ###. You may enter at those hours and we can start with what ever you're comfortable with.
ok. ill be there for opening.
[and he is! knocking and slipping in the moment the door is opened. truth be told, he's not really comfortable with anything at all, but he's been feeling so off that he wants to talk to someone.]
Did you hear about the Unicron stuff? [he starts off asking, after taking a seat.]
[and he is! knocking and slipping in the moment the door is opened. truth be told, he's not really comfortable with anything at all, but he's been feeling so off that he wants to talk to someone.]
Did you hear about the Unicron stuff? [he starts off asking, after taking a seat.]
[ Rung offers him a seat, treats and a fidget tool at the table in front of their seats. ]
I have... It sounded distressing. I don't know how a transformer that size could even exist. [ He takes his own seat and sits. ]
I have... It sounded distressing. I don't know how a transformer that size could even exist. [ He takes his own seat and sits. ]
I mean, angry evil god. That kind of covers it. [he shrugs one shoulder, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair.] I led one of the teams towards the Pillars before the whole Unicron fight, because we needed the artefacts, um...
[he taps his fingers off his upper arm, expression twisting.]
I don't think I did very well.
[he taps his fingers off his upper arm, expression twisting.]
I don't think I did very well.
You feel you were not up to task... is that it? Go on, I want to hear your account. Tell as little as you want, I just want a gist of the scenario.
[ He folds his hands together in his lap and crosses a leg over the other. ]
[ He folds his hands together in his lap and crosses a leg over the other. ]
I actually felt like I was doing okay for a while. Not perfectly, but I've never really lead a team before, so I'm going to let myself off the hook for that.
[he taps his fingers together, clearly starting to get quite nervous as they get to the root of the problem. it's been quick getting here; riptide knows what the problem is, but now it's getting to actually vocalising it, he's starting to stall.]
Ummm... I went away from the ship for a bit recently.
[he taps his fingers together, clearly starting to get quite nervous as they get to the root of the problem. it's been quick getting here; riptide knows what the problem is, but now it's getting to actually vocalising it, he's starting to stall.]
Ummm... I went away from the ship for a bit recently.
Riptide, first.. I will state. I'm proud of you for seeing yourself so thoroughly through this. [ Rung purses his pointer fingers together in clasped hands. ]
Not only for giving yourself leeway to a difficult task. But also recognizing you needed time away when it was over.
Now secondly, you can't fool this old gear tool. I know you're holding back. I am not here to judge you. I'm here to help.
[ He unclasps his hands. ]
What is the deeper issue here.
Not only for giving yourself leeway to a difficult task. But also recognizing you needed time away when it was over.
Now secondly, you can't fool this old gear tool. I know you're holding back. I am not here to judge you. I'm here to help.
[ He unclasps his hands. ]
What is the deeper issue here.
Yeaaaah... I didn't exactly go away for a beach holiday, Rung. What really bothered me... more than Unicron and Megatron and whatever else was going down...
[he presses his hand to the side of his face, sighing.]
We encountered slavers when we were there. I mean-- I know Decepticons did that kind of slag during the war. It was just... I don't know. I was the one that was leading the team. Stopping them was down to me, not some other Autobot commander who knows better.
[he presses his hand to the side of his face, sighing.]
We encountered slavers when we were there. I mean-- I know Decepticons did that kind of slag during the war. It was just... I don't know. I was the one that was leading the team. Stopping them was down to me, not some other Autobot commander who knows better.
I had.. heard briefly of the Slaverlords.
[ He takes his glasses off and holds them down from his face for a moment. Puts them back shortly after. Not even bothering to clean. Simply a need to remove them and refocus. ]
Riptide, did you go after the slavers when you left? Was it because you felt your job as commander wasn't over? Or did you feel something else...
There is no shame in any answer you give me.
[ He takes his glasses off and holds them down from his face for a moment. Puts them back shortly after. Not even bothering to clean. Simply a need to remove them and refocus. ]
Riptide, did you go after the slavers when you left? Was it because you felt your job as commander wasn't over? Or did you feel something else...
There is no shame in any answer you give me.
Yes. I went after the slavers. I have no shame in this answer.
[genuinely, he doesn't feel bad about it. he doesn't feel good either, though. he doesn't feel anything, and that's kind of the problem.]
They hurt so many innocent people and ruined their lives. Duam tried to capture and sell both me and Tailgate. None of what I did really made me feel any better though. Why is that? It was unquestionably a good thing to do, and I am going to go and kill more of them sometime in the future, because it will continue to be a good thing.
[genuinely, he doesn't feel bad about it. he doesn't feel good either, though. he doesn't feel anything, and that's kind of the problem.]
They hurt so many innocent people and ruined their lives. Duam tried to capture and sell both me and Tailgate. None of what I did really made me feel any better though. Why is that? It was unquestionably a good thing to do, and I am going to go and kill more of them sometime in the future, because it will continue to be a good thing.
The right thing does not always make us feel righteous. We're still killing and cycling malice. Its a paradox. To stamp out evil means to sometimes twist what is normally 'good'.
[ Rung says slowly and sighs. ]
They will leave you empty when the moment passes, but it does not always mean you were wrong to do it. The adrenaline of the kill is over, its a crash of emotions. Sometimes you will be numb, sometimes you will cry.
Though you must never forget your enemy is as multi factual as yourself. When you forget your enemy is a person... any one can be an enemy. because all it takes is to remove personhood from evil.
Some are irredeemable evils.... but there is still a person behind the action.
[ Rung smiles solemnly ]
I'm proud of you Riptide. Never forget that, I may speak in a way that pushes against your learned ways.. but I'm still proud of you.
[ Rung says slowly and sighs. ]
They will leave you empty when the moment passes, but it does not always mean you were wrong to do it. The adrenaline of the kill is over, its a crash of emotions. Sometimes you will be numb, sometimes you will cry.
Though you must never forget your enemy is as multi factual as yourself. When you forget your enemy is a person... any one can be an enemy. because all it takes is to remove personhood from evil.
Some are irredeemable evils.... but there is still a person behind the action.
[ Rung smiles solemnly ]
I'm proud of you Riptide. Never forget that, I may speak in a way that pushes against your learned ways.. but I'm still proud of you.
[rung's words are kind, but riptide scoffs.]
They aren't people, they're slavers. I'm not even close to upset about killing them. To be honest, I'm annoyed it didn't make me feel better. Do I need to kill more? I feel like the answer here is I need to kill more.
They aren't people, they're slavers. I'm not even close to upset about killing them. To be honest, I'm annoyed it didn't make me feel better. Do I need to kill more? I feel like the answer here is I need to kill more.
[ And there it is. Rung was looking for it. Sad that he found it. No one comes back from these crusades with a healthy outlook. ]
And what right do you have to remove their personhood? Because they remove it from others?
I won't stop you from killing them, but I won't let you forget that.
[ Rung straights his back. ]
I'm sorry. I really am. I don't have perfect answers, I don't have perfect solutions... I wish I knew what was right...
And what right do you have to remove their personhood? Because they remove it from others?
I won't stop you from killing them, but I won't let you forget that.
[ Rung straights his back. ]
I'm sorry. I really am. I don't have perfect answers, I don't have perfect solutions... I wish I knew what was right...
Yes? Yeah, actually, that's exactly what makes them deserving to die.
[this, weirdly, is helping. maybe what he wanted was an argument about it. maybe he wanted someone to dislike him about it, but he knows specifically rung won't be that person.]
I'm going to forget it. They're barbaric, Rung. I really do think the best thing here is for me to kill more.
...
But I will have a break first. Maybe reflect on our... tactics or whatever.
[this, weirdly, is helping. maybe what he wanted was an argument about it. maybe he wanted someone to dislike him about it, but he knows specifically rung won't be that person.]
I'm going to forget it. They're barbaric, Rung. I really do think the best thing here is for me to kill more.
...
But I will have a break first. Maybe reflect on our... tactics or whatever.
We are not executioners.
[ He shakes his head. ]
If you take one thing from this session, its to decide if you really want to cross this line. I will be here... I will still be here.
[ He wonders if he has any right to judge Riptide. Its easy to say and see when one is on the outside...
He just hopes Riptide doesn't act irrationally. Regret something in the end.
He had points. But so did Rung. ]
[ He shakes his head. ]
If you take one thing from this session, its to decide if you really want to cross this line. I will be here... I will still be here.
[ He wonders if he has any right to judge Riptide. Its easy to say and see when one is on the outside...
He just hopes Riptide doesn't act irrationally. Regret something in the end.
He had points. But so did Rung. ]
[it is time to check in on rung, he thinks. he's seen the guy around, so evidently he didn't implode with his weird here but not here atoms, so that's nice! there's some other stuff he's wanted to talk about, anyway.]
Do you have a couple of minutes or potentially an hour to talk?
This isn't about an appointment.
However, I do want to talk about that shared profession of ours!
Do you have a couple of minutes or potentially an hour to talk?
This isn't about an appointment.
However, I do want to talk about that shared profession of ours!
[ Oh no, this is it isn't it. Has he been found out a liar? No no, this is a totally different Universe.
Actually should he really even be doing this job regardless.... No its fine. He can do more good by helping right? ]
Of course, I would be quite happy to speak with you. Do you have a location in mind for chatting?
[ Doomed. He's doomed.]
Actually should he really even be doing this job regardless.... No its fine. He can do more good by helping right? ]
Of course, I would be quite happy to speak with you. Do you have a location in mind for chatting?
[ Doomed. He's doomed.]
[oh, rung... fortunately this will be quite the opposite of what he's thinking it'll be. if ratchet had any idea, he might've worded it differently.]
I'm at Mac's. This should be fine.
I don't intend to discuss any confidential information out in a bar or anything.
I'm at Mac's. This should be fine.
I don't intend to discuss any confidential information out in a bar or anything.
I'll be down shortly
[ Welp, if this is about the deleted message to Riptide it could be explained.. and Ratchet here seems understanding and lax, so he might very well just get a slap on the wrist.
He did nothing wrong here, just get too emotionally protective of people around him. ]
[ Welp, if this is about the deleted message to Riptide it could be explained.. and Ratchet here seems understanding and lax, so he might very well just get a slap on the wrist.
He did nothing wrong here, just get too emotionally protective of people around him. ]
[considering this is about work and he's technically not off the clock, ratchet has had to employ some self-control and just throw back a load of sweet and fruity drinks rather than get blasted on anything. he is sitting in his preferred booth with the usual suspects; a couple datapads and a few holographic rubix cubes. they are most excellent for dispelling anxious energy!
he's all smiles when rung comes down, definitely not the face of someone who's about to get mad about some messages to riptide. look at his face. look at his big ol' optics!]
I'm glad you're lookin' so well! [he chirps happily.] Now-- I just have some issue with some theory that I've been trying to work out myself, but I figured it would be smarter to actually get the other guy on the ship who could contribute to this! I didn't forget about ya, honest, I've just been a bit-- ah, tunnel vision.
he's all smiles when rung comes down, definitely not the face of someone who's about to get mad about some messages to riptide. look at his face. look at his big ol' optics!]
I'm glad you're lookin' so well! [he chirps happily.] Now-- I just have some issue with some theory that I've been trying to work out myself, but I figured it would be smarter to actually get the other guy on the ship who could contribute to this! I didn't forget about ya, honest, I've just been a bit-- ah, tunnel vision.
Edited 2023-04-11 13:56 (UTC)
[ Relief flits over his own face as he sits down and smiles. This Ratchet did have such a wonderful soft face, kind of one you want to pinch. As Humans would state. He's never really understood it as their softness isn't as squished as flesh.. oh he's mind's off track... ]
Oh needn't worry, its happens all the time anyway. I'm quite used to it. I've managed to get a few members of the Lost Light to remember me so a start!.. oh yes. What did you need help with, Ratchet?
I'm all ready for it.
Oh needn't worry, its happens all the time anyway. I'm quite used to it. I've managed to get a few members of the Lost Light to remember me so a start!.. oh yes. What did you need help with, Ratchet?
I'm all ready for it.
[he tents his fingers, back to looking slightly ominous, but looking down at the datapads.]
The longer we are here and the longer we are put through the usual things that Cybertronians end up going through, the more timeline and multiverse issues that wouldn't normally come up come up. With the space bridge, I've seen some mechs have a general sense of a get out of jail free card, or-- get out of the morgue free. People disappear at random and there's no way to predict what person will drop out of that bridge next.
[he puts a hand on one of the datapads, sliding it forward for rung to read. it's all of this, but in a lot more detail. shy i love you but i am not writing an actual academic paper on this stuff.]
This ain't somethin' we would have to deal with in our own universes-- I don't think, at least. Not mine, at the moment. I wanted to know your thoughts. How do you help someone deal with their own death, once they've been revived and come back? We are used to our kind dying, but suddenly just not existing with no cause or reason is entirely different from being deactivated via damage. What treatment could you offer to someone who is seeing the ghost of a dead friend or loved one in someone who is essentially that same person, but from an entirely different timeline where they never knew the bereaved? That isn't just having a similar frame, that is the same person.
[he looks back down at the datapads as he says this, expression pinching.]
Y'know. For starters.
The longer we are here and the longer we are put through the usual things that Cybertronians end up going through, the more timeline and multiverse issues that wouldn't normally come up come up. With the space bridge, I've seen some mechs have a general sense of a get out of jail free card, or-- get out of the morgue free. People disappear at random and there's no way to predict what person will drop out of that bridge next.
[he puts a hand on one of the datapads, sliding it forward for rung to read. it's all of this, but in a lot more detail. shy i love you but i am not writing an actual academic paper on this stuff.]
This ain't somethin' we would have to deal with in our own universes-- I don't think, at least. Not mine, at the moment. I wanted to know your thoughts. How do you help someone deal with their own death, once they've been revived and come back? We are used to our kind dying, but suddenly just not existing with no cause or reason is entirely different from being deactivated via damage. What treatment could you offer to someone who is seeing the ghost of a dead friend or loved one in someone who is essentially that same person, but from an entirely different timeline where they never knew the bereaved? That isn't just having a similar frame, that is the same person.
[he looks back down at the datapads as he says this, expression pinching.]
Y'know. For starters.
My.. That is a pondersome conundrum. How does anyone process death. [ Rung waits a moment and orders a noncharged drink. ]
First we'll want to look how the patient in question deals with living in general. Consequences always exist no matter the form they take. I've considered the thoughts previously of a definite problem that might emerge from the fact we do not remain dead here... Three days minimum, isn't that what has been categorized?
[ As the drink arrives he takes a long sip ]
I thought to call it a Moribund or Nihil Paradox. The more we die and come back the more we seem to delude ourselves into the thought of nothing mattering.
Its a name in progress.. but that's not what matters, what matters is what I'm describing. A perversion and misplacement of immortality.
We are not immortal here, there is a chance some day that bridge will break for good. It must be reminded that death matters.
Even if we come back the lasting trauma that it happened still very much exists.
First we'll want to look how the patient in question deals with living in general. Consequences always exist no matter the form they take. I've considered the thoughts previously of a definite problem that might emerge from the fact we do not remain dead here... Three days minimum, isn't that what has been categorized?
[ As the drink arrives he takes a long sip ]
I thought to call it a Moribund or Nihil Paradox. The more we die and come back the more we seem to delude ourselves into the thought of nothing mattering.
Its a name in progress.. but that's not what matters, what matters is what I'm describing. A perversion and misplacement of immortality.
We are not immortal here, there is a chance some day that bridge will break for good. It must be reminded that death matters.
Even if we come back the lasting trauma that it happened still very much exists.
I had a similar line of thought. When I had... my own experience -- [he's not quite able to say outright died yet, for some reason he still hasn't quite peeled up from his own psyche.] -- I experienced several physical and mental symptoms. Severe lethargy, flashbacks thanks to the high stress of the situation. General weakness. These seem to be quite common.
[he curls a hand under his chin.]
I personally found the biggest struggle, on revival and on gettin' here to begin with, to be the continuity. I think it's different from just passin' out and the world goin' on around you. This is resetting your optics and waking up in a place where everything that mattered to you doesn't anymore, nor can you in any physical way get back to it. [his hand slides over to a rubix cube, fiddling with it.] Maybe I'm focusin' on the wrong things, but everything seems ramped up to extremes here, even if it doesn't initially seem like it. If a friend disappeared back home, at least I'd know they were somewhere in the universe dead or alive. Here it's like-- they ran out of existence juice and no-one could save them or do anything about it. It's a new level of helplessness.
I know we can't solve it. But there has to be a better way than sorry, bud, but we're all in the same boat here! Especially if this is permanent.
[he curls a hand under his chin.]
I personally found the biggest struggle, on revival and on gettin' here to begin with, to be the continuity. I think it's different from just passin' out and the world goin' on around you. This is resetting your optics and waking up in a place where everything that mattered to you doesn't anymore, nor can you in any physical way get back to it. [his hand slides over to a rubix cube, fiddling with it.] Maybe I'm focusin' on the wrong things, but everything seems ramped up to extremes here, even if it doesn't initially seem like it. If a friend disappeared back home, at least I'd know they were somewhere in the universe dead or alive. Here it's like-- they ran out of existence juice and no-one could save them or do anything about it. It's a new level of helplessness.
I know we can't solve it. But there has to be a better way than sorry, bud, but we're all in the same boat here! Especially if this is permanent.
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