If I knew that then maybe it wouldn't be nearly as frustrating as it's been!
[He tosses his hands up, letting them drop to his sides.]
...we went to go find Annie- Anemone. I think Megatron got a message about her being lost in the Cathedral of Mirrors, so my brothers and I went with him.
I...honestly don't know what I could do to prepare for something like that. I don't think anyone could have been prepared for that.
[It's said with some fondness, although his smile wavers a little. He'd never actually thought he'd be caught on the opposite end of one, hand straying to his cheek where shrapnel had cut and left the finest line of a yet healing scar.]
...that's the problem. No matter how many times we've told her, no matter how many times I've said, she always insists on doing things her way and alone. I- I know she doesn't want to see us get hurt but this still hurts.
Yes, no one wants to see loved ones harmed... It'll be a very difficult lesson for her some day. Someday she might harm you worse... I wish I could speak with her...
I too worry about her, but her fear of Therapists is quite valid...
As much as I praise you for staying by her side... I fear this may be a relationship that ends in bloodshed.
[The turtle grasps at his side for a tail that isn't there, hands wringing in frustration once he realizes what he's doing. He tucks them under his armpits as he folds his arms tightly in front of him.]
...
[Right, that therapist. He hadn't really thought about that.
Rung's next statement clearly startles him, his head jerking up as he looks at the Cybertronian, wide-eyed.]
Wh-
[Too late for that, isn't it? He can almost feel that sting on his face again, a broken laugh escaping his lips before he presses them into a tight line.]
No one wants to hear these things. I only say them because I care for you. She's still young, and change for the better is still easier for her at this age. But she's stubborn and irrational...
And sometimes... loved ones kill. You, or another or... themselves.
I don't want you to give up on her, primus knows I hate to give up on anyone.
But I want you to be careful alright. Preserve yourself first, and you can save others around you...
[Donnie sinks down onto the table like a puppet whose strings have been cut.
He doesn't want to hear those things. Especially not after seeing his own brothers being controlled by someone else. The reminder makes him feel sick, and he loosens his arms enough to draw his legs in close, a haunted expression on his face.
Whatever he'd thought they might talk about, this isn't at all what he'd expected.]
But what if I can't?!
[He feels that annoyingly familiar prickle in his eyes, which only makes him tense up even tighter.]
It seems like all I've been getting are lucky breaks, and if it weren't for some weird intervention or another, things would've gone so much different! Anemone would have been dead! My brothers would've been taken by a blood mage if they weren't just made to kill each other or me instead!
[His sight blurs as he buries his face against his knees.]
I saved Anemone with Solus's gauntlets but she's still linked to Megatronus somehow.
My brother's got some weird lantern attached to him and I think it's my fault he's stuck with it.
And Mikey-
Nothing should ever happen to Mikey but she...she did something and I don't know how bad it is...
[ there it is. It pains Rung to see his face so full of rage and grief]
Then at least you tried. At least you did everything you could to save them. At least you live knowing you did what you thought was right.
[ The fire burns on his plating, the memory of the crash. No one survives but him. He did everything he could for them and even if the crash was not his or anyone's fault... ]
Luck can be that string of hope, but its what you do with that string that matters. You can't predict everything. You can't know all the outcomes. The death to pile or the lives saved.
Resilience is a wonderful trait. but it is also a the knife as a hilt. Luck runs out, people betray your best intentions.
[ Froid vanished... but how long will secrets stay buried... its why he told Ratchet anything at all]
There may be a day you have to choose between something you should never have to choose between.
I can't stop your heroism, I can't stop all the pain. I can't erase the damage or cure your trauma with a snap of a finger.
But what I can do is warn you. I can only stop the hurt from being worse.
I don't want to be the bad guy. I'm simply the mech who's watched countless others destroy themselves for the "greater good". Signed off on it even, even if I shouldn't of.
I ... [ That unwavered voice sombers and quiets slowly. ]
I'm simply... sorry you ever had to suffer this at all.
[Is it worth it? It hurts so much, even when things pan out fine. But fine doesn't mean untouched.
His limbs hurt for how tightly he's squeezing himself, as compact a ball as he can manage, his head still bent over as he tries but fails to hold back tears. He hates crying. He hates that it seems like it's just a general thing that happens now. Some emotionally unavailable bad boy he is, but then that's just an image he'd striven to uphold.
He listens numbly to Rung as the Cybertronian continues to speak, even if part of him doesn't want to hear it.
Donnie's not even sure if he's mad at him. Inside, he knows he means well, but...it's a lot to hear, and it doesn't help, coming from someone who's still mostly a stranger. Or does it? He...doesn't know.
Absently he wonders what kind of a Witch he would have made...
Silence falls heavily into the space that Rung leaves once he seems, for the moment, finished with his words.
Donnie remains where he sits, and for all the difference he feels, he could have been sitting alone in the void of space.]
[ Rung lets the silence fill with crying, grabbing a small tissue box still to big for the child. Pulling out a tissue and sets it next to him, putting his hand behind, gently touching his back. ]
...
[ He will not even be a stranger to everyone he loves or helps. Its not even just his profession. Someday, he knows... he will be gone... and his memory with it.
[The turtle somehow manages to stiffen even more at the slightest sense of that little weight on his battle shell. He lifts his head just enough to peer over his arms, clawed fingers gingerly reaching out to snag the sheet of tissue, scrubbing with it at his eyes as he sniffles.
What's he supposed to do? Just live in a box? Not trust anyone? Maybe things were easier when they lived apart from the rest of the world, dipping their toes in whenever they felt like it, slipping into but never actually part of things. Operating from the shadows. True, their close bonds were few, but there's nothing Donnie thinks can ever come between them. It seems like being here, things have been doing their best to try, and he hates it.]
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no subject
[He tosses his hands up, letting them drop to his sides.]
...we went to go find Annie- Anemone. I think Megatron got a message about her being lost in the Cathedral of Mirrors, so my brothers and I went with him.
I...honestly don't know what I could do to prepare for something like that. I don't think anyone could have been prepared for that.
no subject
Anemone, the Star Person. I've met her once, she's quite nice. If a little explode happy when things frighten her.
I'm glad she had someone to look for her... That's all anyone can ask for, even if they're resistant to the help.
no subject
[It's said with some fondness, although his smile wavers a little. He'd never actually thought he'd be caught on the opposite end of one, hand straying to his cheek where shrapnel had cut and left the finest line of a yet healing scar.]
...that's the problem. No matter how many times we've told her, no matter how many times I've said, she always insists on doing things her way and alone. I- I know she doesn't want to see us get hurt but this still hurts.
no subject
I too worry about her, but her fear of Therapists is quite valid...
As much as I praise you for staying by her side... I fear this may be a relationship that ends in bloodshed.
no subject
...
[Right, that therapist. He hadn't really thought about that.
Rung's next statement clearly startles him, his head jerking up as he looks at the Cybertronian, wide-eyed.]
Wh-
[Too late for that, isn't it? He can almost feel that sting on his face again, a broken laugh escaping his lips before he presses them into a tight line.]
no subject
And sometimes... loved ones kill. You, or another or... themselves.
I don't want you to give up on her, primus knows I hate to give up on anyone.
But I want you to be careful alright. Preserve yourself first, and you can save others around you...
no subject
He doesn't want to hear those things. Especially not after seeing his own brothers being controlled by someone else. The reminder makes him feel sick, and he loosens his arms enough to draw his legs in close, a haunted expression on his face.
Whatever he'd thought they might talk about, this isn't at all what he'd expected.]
But what if I can't?!
[He feels that annoyingly familiar prickle in his eyes, which only makes him tense up even tighter.]
It seems like all I've been getting are lucky breaks, and if it weren't for some weird intervention or another, things would've gone so much different! Anemone would have been dead! My brothers would've been taken by a blood mage if they weren't just made to kill each other or me instead!
[His sight blurs as he buries his face against his knees.]
I saved Anemone with Solus's gauntlets but she's still linked to Megatronus somehow.
My brother's got some weird lantern attached to him and I think it's my fault he's stuck with it.
And Mikey-
Nothing should ever happen to Mikey but she...she did something and I don't know how bad it is...
no subject
Then at least you tried. At least you did everything you could to save them. At least you live knowing you did what you thought was right.
[ The fire burns on his plating, the memory of the crash. No one survives but him. He did everything he could for them and even if the crash was not his or anyone's fault... ]
Luck can be that string of hope, but its what you do with that string that matters. You can't predict everything. You can't know all the outcomes. The death to pile or the lives saved.
Resilience is a wonderful trait. but it is also a the knife as a hilt. Luck runs out, people betray your best intentions.
[ Froid vanished... but how long will secrets stay buried... its why he told Ratchet anything at all]
There may be a day you have to choose between something you should never have to choose between.
I can't stop your heroism, I can't stop all the pain. I can't erase the damage or cure your trauma with a snap of a finger.
But what I can do is warn you. I can only stop the hurt from being worse.
I don't want to be the bad guy. I'm simply the mech who's watched countless others destroy themselves for the "greater good". Signed off on it even, even if I shouldn't of.
I ... [ That unwavered voice sombers and quiets slowly. ]
I'm simply... sorry you ever had to suffer this at all.
no subject
His limbs hurt for how tightly he's squeezing himself, as compact a ball as he can manage, his head still bent over as he tries but fails to hold back tears. He hates crying. He hates that it seems like it's just a general thing that happens now. Some emotionally unavailable bad boy he is, but then that's just an image he'd striven to uphold.
He listens numbly to Rung as the Cybertronian continues to speak, even if part of him doesn't want to hear it.
Donnie's not even sure if he's mad at him. Inside, he knows he means well, but...it's a lot to hear, and it doesn't help, coming from someone who's still mostly a stranger. Or does it? He...doesn't know.
Absently he wonders what kind of a Witch he would have made...
Silence falls heavily into the space that Rung leaves once he seems, for the moment, finished with his words.
Donnie remains where he sits, and for all the difference he feels, he could have been sitting alone in the void of space.]
no subject
...
[ He will not even be a stranger to everyone he loves or helps. Its not even just his profession. Someday, he knows... he will be gone... and his memory with it.
So he has to do what he can while he can. ]
no subject
What's he supposed to do? Just live in a box? Not trust anyone? Maybe things were easier when they lived apart from the rest of the world, dipping their toes in whenever they felt like it, slipping into but never actually part of things. Operating from the shadows. True, their close bonds were few, but there's nothing Donnie thinks can ever come between them. It seems like being here, things have been doing their best to try, and he hates it.]